Today we have the luxury of hearing from someone new. Erica H-Vincent is the Founder/CEO of EHV Consultants and lives at www.ericahvincent.com. She decided to stop playing with her “side hustle” and walked away from her corporate position 4 years ago to build her coaching and consulting business full time. Erica is passionate about building her business around her life and love showing other moms and wives how to do the same! She is living in her element the most when she’s creating mompreneurs and wifepreneurs customized business strategies to grow their online serviced-base empire all on a shoestring budget! You can find Erica @ericahvincent everywhere but her primary hangout spots are Twitter and her private Lady Boss Levels community! Today Erica is sharing part of her love story with us...
This is the ultimate love month for me! February 14th as you and I both know is the obvious national love day but there are two additional dates in this month that hold very true and dear to my husband and that's February 9th and February 21st!
You see this year, February 9th marks the 4 year anniversary of walking away from my full-time (high paying) Corporate job and February 21st marks our 8 year wedding anniversary! Woot Woot!!! Now you may read this and think "Oh how awesome"! But let me tell something, the road to my "Marriage, Money and Mogul building quest has NOT being all sunshine and unicorns! Let me take you on a little journey of a man I "dissed" time and time again who ended up becoming my biggest cheerleader, business partner, and now husband!
So I was the picky type, you know the type who had to date a man of certain height, build, shade, economic, and education status! Yes! That was me! Preferably over 6feet and caramel complexed-skin if I'm being REALLY picky! My elders would call this being "young and dumb"! Fourteen years ago I was fairly new to my city (Milwaukee) and I was invited to accompany my mom to a party a friend of hers was hosting, so I'm thinking to myself "This is going to be boring as EVER" and my attitude wall went up immediately, but at least it got me out of the house for a bit! So you know the drill; boy meets girl, girl's not interested, boy sweats girl, girl STILL not interested, boy sweats girl more, girl gets flattered, boy and girl are in a trial dating situation! Now this was over the course of a 3 to 4 month time-frame of me playing what some would call "hard to get" before we even went on a date. This was partly due to my stubborn dating type (reference above) and my now husband was 5'8 and "high yellow" because he is bi-racial, mixed with Puerto Rican and African-American. So I gave him the hardest time! (I feel sooo guilty now!)
When my husband and I were "dating" I made it very clear what my goals in life were for both my children and myself. He knew being in a relationship fell dead last in comparison to my kids, job, school, and side business (at the time). I asked why was I self-employed as well and I looked him square in the face and said “because I don’t like to follow the rules”! I really thought my ambitious (and somewhat smart-mouthed) nature would scare him off but it was the COMPLETE opposite! He admired my independent and "gutsy" drive to succeed! I believe it called it "sexy" lol! I remember like it was just yesterday when he said “so what can I do to help”? I stopped and looked at him like a different person. Then I thought to myself “Damn, now THAT’S sexy” When you are a single mother with two little ones like I was carrying the full weight of the world on your shoulders, hearing questions like that gave me a whole new meaning to the words gratitude and respect. He knew I would move Mt Everest to ensure my kids were awarded a life of all things comfort, safety, and peace. So a lot of time had passed (I’m thinking a little over 6 months) before I’d introduce him to my kids, when I finally made the introduction it was more or less “show and prove” time. Without question he would jump right in, help around the house while I was cramming to meet class deadlines, going to business networking events, or taking care of VA contracted work for clients. In the first month or so I was thinking “this is too good to be true” but then I would receive phone calls from people he had referred to me for outsource work I knew something magical was forming right before my eyes. Fast forward seven years later, after living as a “blended family”, I finally got pregnant with my husband’s first son and then 11 months later our first daughter! So how did I make all of this work and still work all these years later you ask?
Simple…. I had hunger, drive, and a plan! I communicated my plan, execute my plan, and showed hubby the results from that plan. The hunger for me to always try, fail, and dominate my best self, paired with my competitive nature makes it really easy for me to share my aspirations with my husband. He can feel the passion and energy in my voice and can see it in my body language! As his wife, I too, must speak his language, a language that a non-entrepreneur can understand and digest as well. A language explaining how all strategic and marketing efforts lead to income and happiness! He could really care less about my list building goals, online-workshops, lead generations and all that jazz, all he really want to know is “how will your business help keep the lights on and food on the table”?. Once I shared my plan of action, I then said "this is what I need from you in order for me to make this happen". Which really boiled down to managing household efforts and running errands from time to time. So now when I say I have a webinar, or need to schedule tweets in buffer, or need to knock out a 1200 word blog post, he understands the potential outcome from these marketing efforts verses him thinking I'm just "playing around" on the internet all day!
We also have "business meetings" twice a month to see where things are financially for both house and business objectives. This will eliminate any money woes of "why didn't you say something before now" kind of talks. This also sparks a conversation of "Hey honey how was your day"? and I’d respond “Canva was down today to I couldn’t create my graphics for my blog post” or “I probably should do another webinar to promote my online course”, he will actually "get" what you're saying. It's all about clarity and communication. Point blank period! There is no secret magic marriage sauce! When you and your partner are both fighting to accomplish the same goal of wanting to live life in being your truest self and fulfill a higher purpose, it’s soooo much easier to love your mate over and over again. I know my hunk of love has my back and he knows I have his always!
To sum it all up, I have a few take aways/tweetables for you to remember:
- Know what you want and stand on it FIRMLY!
- Let nothing and no one detour you from your dreams and goals
- As long as you have mutual respect for one another, the love will always be there
- Never settle nor compromise happiness for the sake of a relationship. Your spouse is supposed to heighten your level of happiness not hinder it
- Your mate doesn't have to "get" what you do, if it's something you're truly passionate about they must respect it or they do not respect you!
- Marriage is a contracted love business...treat it as such! Financial meetings can be sexy if you do it right!