Betty Wright already told us who the side chick is when she said “A clean up woman is a woman who gets all the love we girls leave behind.” Now we can argue all day about who is to blame for the side chick. We can point the finger at all three parties involved if we wanted to but how helpful is that?
Moving on to more important business. How does she even become a factor in your relationship? For me the answer is very simple, he is either no good, or he is missing something, and she is serving it up on a platter. Even the most complicated of situations can be broken down into these two categories.
You guys would be surprised just how much opposition I have been met with since voicing this opinion. One lady told me sometimes people connect or have a bond that has nothing to do with sex or missing something at home. She was shocked to find I still held true to my earlier statement. He was either no good so bonding and connecting with a woman outside of his relationship was ok for hm. Or he was missing something at home, found it in the other woman and the bond began.
She went on to say it may have been someone from the past. Again I had a comeback. If he is so bonded to someone in his past he should be with that person. Since he obviously chose to be with someone else he should be so wrapped up in his current relationship he does not have time to fan the flames of the past.
We eventually had to agree to disagree because we were getting nowhere. The fact is cheating happens. Everybody knows and agrees on that. What we all want to know is why. You can take the easy route and blame the media because it is so accepted, or you can take a hard look at yourself and see what your man is missing. Here are a few things he may be lacking at home that led him to the side chick’s door.
THAT OLE THANG
I never understood until my second year of marriage what my granny meant when she talked about getting “that ole thang back.” This is whatever it is about you that attracted him to you in the first place. Whether it be the stilettos you used to wear or the way you fixed your hair, your cooking, whatever it is that made him want to go past date number 1. If h has a side chick you are probably no longer doing this. Ladies hear me when I say my feet were trained and heels was a common thing until my second child. Then it seemed looking at the shoes in my closet made my feet swell. I HAD to get it together and train them all over again. I spent so much time in socks and heels (stretching them out) around the house I got on my own nerves, but my hubby appreciated it. Also it worked out in the long run when I was wearing heels and no longer running to sit down. Sure this is a simple example but only you know what that it factor is in your marriage.
Are you talking to him and really listening to his answers or are you staring into your phone? (This blog does not count, the info I am giving he will appreciate lol). When he is telling you about his day are you going through the motions of listening or are you retaining the information? Are you talking to him about your day? Funny thing about husbands they will tell you when the side chick is near without even knowing it. LISTEN to them! Part of being connected with your spouse is communication. You never want to get to a place where you feel like roommates sharing the goal of rent paying and baby raising.
Do I really need to explain this one? Ok I will… MEN NEED SEX (and if we are honest we do it lol…). Cheating is never the woman’s fault. We are all responsible for our own choices and actions. However, I am so sure you have heard the statement for every action there is a reaction. If you stop having sex with your man what do you think is going to happen? A good man will give you some time, throw some hints, but eventually he will seek sex elsewhere. Nope it is not ok, but it is very logical. It really pisses me off when women act shocked about their man cheating but they haven’t had sex in months and Sundays.
Contrary to popular belief sex for men is emotional when they are in a relationship. When we tell them no they feel hurt and rejected. Think about how you feel and the thoughts you have when you have been rejected. I can tell you with 100% certainty there is a side chick waiting in the wings to give your man a yes especially after you have given him a no. So please ladies have sex with your man…OFTEN.
Sure there are more things that go into a relationship and I will cover them all at some point but this will get you started. If you would like more help with communication sign up for my FREE 3 day email course, if you want to get it poppin in the bedroom check out my sex prompt list here, and to preorder my book that will definitely help you keep the side chick far away from your husband go here.
What do you do to keep the side chick away from your man? What would you add to this list?