time managemet

6 time management tips to help you have it all

We want it all if we are honest with ourselves, and in my opinion nothing is wrong with that. We want the family, career, money, cars, all of it. Now how do we get there? You have to begin telling yourself you can have it all and then define what “it all” is for you. This will look differently for every one. Figure out what your ideal day looks like. Does this include meetings, sessions, gym time, children, husband, work, travel? You have to know what you are working toward so you can get there. Then there is time.

Time, if we are honest we often waste away (social media, reality TV, sleep) and then complain about not having enough of it. Coming from my own past experience, watching TV instead of working out was much more fun. However, you could always find me complaining about my weight and saying I had no time to work out. Another old favorite of mine was using my children as an excuse not to clean. Yep I would say well I work every day the weekend is the time I need to be with them. When really I just wanted to avoid the laundry, scrubbing, and sweeping. Yes spending time with my kids is hella important but if one is napping and the other is reading how much time are we really spending together? Still, I would think geesh I really just need a day to clean... yes after wasting an entire day with excuses.

I was making a lot of excuses to simply do what I wanted to do (be lazy, although I called it rest) and not what I needed to do (everything else, cook, clean, etc.). I always found myself saying I want to do more, be more, and have more, but I was not putting in the effort. I was putting in the excuses.

Excuses are tools of nothingness (yep I am a proud member of Zeta Phi Beta- all my fellow NPHC Greeks feel me on this). Back to these excuses... making them was only getting me one thing NOTHING. The truth was I had time to get healthy, cook, start a business, and whatever else I wanted to if I used my time wisely. What I needed to do was to shift the way I thought about time. I had convinced myself I did not have enough of it when the truth is I had plenty. I simply had to use wisely.

Here are a few things I started to do to gain better control of my time.

  1. Protecting my time. Which really means setting boundaries, and saying no when I needed to say no and no longer feeling guilty about it.  I now refuse to allow my time to be wasted. It may seem harsh but it has really been beneficial for me and my family.
  2. I am intentional about how I spend my time. If I set out to spend time with my family, I make sure everyone is awake, present, and with limited electronic interaction. If it is time to blog or do other stuff related to my business I make sure I set the intentions to complete those task. It really is about a mind shift here.
  3. I plan for things. Part of being able to fit so many things into one day is knowing what must be done. If I know what I have to do, I can fit in what I want to do. I decided I wanted to put more effort into my own self development. So instead of having my own lip sync battle on the way to work daily I now make sure I listen to a podcast that will feed my growth at least 3 days a week on my way to work. 
  4. Prioritize. This is my best kept secret. If it can be done later I do it later and do something that cannot wait. Everything is not an emergency so it will not be treated as such.
  5. Practice discipline. It is easy to lay down because I worked all day. Then who is going to cook, clean, blog, talk to my clients, how will I ever get into shape. When I set my list I do it. There is no waiting until tomorrow because I have already filtered out what can wait so it is not on the current day’s to do list.
  6. I am flexible with my family. I know you giving side eye after reading 1-5, but I am. If my babies are sick things get shifted. My daughter is pushing 13 so her emotions and hormones are off the chain. If she needs some extra mommy time she gets it. Sometimes bae needs time and I am not here for the games so bae gets his time.

By doing all these things I am so much closer to my goal of having it all. I am able to be a great wife, mom, biz owner, and still employee. It is not easy but it can definitely be done.


How do you manage it all? Have questions? Shoot me an email mrstoyacarter@gmail.com I would love to help.

Make Sunday Longer So Monday Is NOT

If you have read my post on making more time you know I believe in doing things the night before. If you do things in advance there is less rush when it is due. We are adults now so cramming for the test, or writing the term paper the night before is a thing of the past.

We all know what it takes to make our house run smoothly. We have created a system in our homes of who does what and when. If it is up tp you to get the baby dressed in the morning plan for that. Have the clothes ready and give yourself a 10-15 min window in case you get peed or puked on. It is not fun and I love sleep like the next person if not more but when I make Sundays longer my Mondays feel a whole lot better. Here is what I do on Sundays:

  1. Finish the deep cleaning- read here for cleaning schedule
  2. Prep meals for the week (ok I lie, hubby does this, perks to be married to a chef)
  3. Finish the laundry I started in Friday don’t judge me
  4. Pack my gym bag because if I miss Monday my week is shot
  5. Pick out clothes for me and the baby for the WEEK
  6. Make yet another to do list for the week

Doing these things make Sunday night a little longer, but it also prepares my mind for the week. I get out of lazy weekend mode back to work on the grind mode so on Monday I am not sluggish. Also Monday morning runs smoother because I  am prepared. My dad always says “prior planning prevents piss poor performance.” I did not get this way over night but I was tired of the Monday morning blues and decided something needed to be done.

Do you week prep on Sundays? What is your routine?

5 Ways to Make Time... When There is NO TIME!

The life of a wife and mom is… well busy (that is probably the understatement of the year).Reports are due, spreadsheets to create, not to mention the special project you volunteeredwork, soccer practice in the rain, doctor’s appointment for one or all of the children, dinner, lunches need to be packed, oh crap no clean socks, laundry to do, and I am sure I am forgetting something (of course I am).

The constant struggle of getting it all done. You know the hamster in the wheel feeling, it can’t only be me. If it is oh well it is not anymore! Like a ton if bricks I got sick and tired. Tired of always feeling late, like I was missing something, or just behind the curve in general. So here is how I made time when there was no time.

Wake up earlier.

There really is no way around it as the woman you are responsible for more than the other members of your house. Think about it when people come to visit and the place is messy who do they judge? When the babies fall down and get hurt who do they run to? Who does the school call first? Who does hubby look to when he needs to know what’s on his day, or where his tie is? It is all you wifey. In order to get a jump start on the madness sacrifice some sleep. Even if you get up and ONLY do stuff for yourself at least its done. Besides by the time the house wakes up you will be ready and not struggling to gather your thoughts and searching for coffee.  

Get organized.

Get a binder, calendar, agenda, pen and paper something! Do whatever works for you. You should not be simply running through life with no plan. I use this daily docket sheet. I know ish happens and things rarely go as planned but you still need one. Also get some organization in your home. If its morning you do not need to be looking in the refrigerator for clean socks (lol I was running late with no sleep). Know where your crap is so you don’t lose time looking for it.

Plan your time

The calendar or paper I told you to get write out a schedule. If you make a plan stick to it. Be selfish with your time because it is the one thing you can never get back. Dani, from Ok Dani talks about planned procrastination. I know it sounds odd but it really works. Look up and an hour or so has passed you do not have to feel guilty because you built it into your schedule. If you are on my email list, first thank you, but second you will be receiving a free printable of the daily to do sheet I use. If you are not on my list shame on you subscribe now, its on the side bar.

Do things at night

This has been a life saver for me. When the little ones go to bed, and if I am good while they are still awake I get ready for the next day. For example my 11 year old has soccer practice on Tuesday and Thursday and I also run/jog/ walk around the track. Now this means I need a diaper bag, and a gym bag along with everything else I already have. I could easily run in and try to pack it but that would simply put us more behind schedule so I pack it at night. This means I run home, grab the 11 year old both bags because they are packed and we are back out the door. Also laying out clothes, packing lunches and such all that is done at night so the morning runs smoother.

Give yourself a break

Listen, you are not the lady on Pinterest. The lady on Pinterest is not the lady on Pinterest. Stop comparing yourself to her. She is showing you her best stuff. You will have bad days. You will run late. The baby will puke on your clothes that you picked out the night before. It is ok to mess up sometimes you just dust yourself off and try again (*try again, again… in my AAliyah voice- if you don’t get that reference you may be to young… or old).

Do you use a planner? How do you manage your time?