You Have To Be Married To Understand

We are who we hang around... Birds of a feather flock together... You know all the clichés of life that parents use to monitor our friends and we now use on our own children. As much as this pains me to say this, our parents were right.

It is important you surround yourself with like-minded people. If you want to be a biz owner you probably need to get some biz owners friends or acquaintances who can give more personal insight than Madam Google. Same with marriage. If you plan to have a happy, healthy, long lasting marriage having same-minded married friends is important. There are certain aspects of your life as a married person your best single friend will simply not understand.

Speaking of understanding, you have to be married to know the joyous struggle that is married life. Only a married woman will understand how at 8:30am you were plotting your husband’s death along with a finely crafted alibi, then at 8:45am he is prince charming and better than your favorite cup of coffee in the morning. (did anyone else just think of Miguel’s song, no just me? Oh well)

Your married friends also know without asking (or being offended) you need a plus one. They do not invite you to lunch, dinner, or even to their house without the assumption your spouse is coming too. If it is girls/guys only it is specified in the invite. Married people understand we got married to be together. 

Finally they understand being married does not make you rich. I believe single people think once there is a second income things miraculously get better, well they don’t. The fabulous second income also comes with second obligations. So single people stop asking your married friends for money, and stop assuming if they don’t have extra to give you their spouseis low down, or on drugs.

As an honorable mention let me say it takes a married person to understand the disgust and irritation that comes with hearing “well what is your husband doing” andytime you feel stressed, run low on money, or have a bad day. Listen we are married so we are one but we also encounter other people and other things that may affect our mood and wallets. Every time a married person is sad it is NOT their spouses’ fault and we would appreciate if you all would stop asking. *climbs off my soap box*

Ok married people do you agree with this list? What would you add to the list? Single people have I helped you any?

Hello, You Are Enough

We as women are so hard on each other and even more so on ourselves. We are constantly comparing ourselves to what we think the standard is. But who the hell set the standard? (I am 100% sure no one called me when the standard was set because I never would have agreed to working 5five days and resting two ijs) 

The standard in your house should be what YOU say it is. Now once you set the standard please stick to it, and do not be afraid to elevate it when needed. Complacency is NOT sexy. Just make sure it is realistic and attainable. Your life will never be like Beyonce’s because that life is already taken. This is not to say dont reach for greatness it is more to say be happy with what you have while working to do better.

Stop caring about what other women are doing in their homes, and make your home the best home for your life. There is nothing wrong with asking another mom how she gets her newborn to sleep, or even what type of cleaner she uses. The problem is when you envy her cleaning style, and how she parents.

So what the lady on Pinterest cooks dinner on days ending with y and you only cook on days starting with T. If it works for your family and your husband is not complaining keep it up. Throw in a Wednesday meal and see how happy hubby is.  Do not beat yourself up because you are living your life and managing your home differently than the next woman. 

Parenting is the same way. Similac vs breast milk, cloth diapers vs disposable there is an argument for everything. Does it really matter as long as your child is loved, fed, and dry? Huggies or Honest Company it doesn’t matter what it is we can seem to find something to argue about or condemn ourselves, and other women about. You have to do what works for you, and never let anyone make you feel less than.  Especially when you are giving it all you got every day.

My 11 year old got two weeks of breast milk and she reads at a 9th grade level. So my guess is she is very smart seeing as how she is only in 5th grade (her birthday is in December you do the math). 

There are exceptions to every rule. What works for me will not always work for you. Really that is what life is, finding your own way. If you feel like you are doing all you can, than you just might be. However we all know when we could be doing more. If that is you then just do more. It really is that simple. You are enough wifey.

Stay positive and focused lovely!