Money. When you see this word what do you immediately think about? Does your mind go to the lack thereof or are you blessed and you think about the surplus you have? I am willing to bet majority of people think about what they are missing. The unfortunate reality is folks are really living check to check. However what is even sadder is we never think about what we really have. For those of us blessed enough to be in a marriage we are super rich even if it is not financially.
We are blessed to have someone in the fight with us. Even if we are living under a bridge as a married couple you are not in the cold alone. Of course I do not want you living under a bridge I am simply getting my point across. You are not alone so you are not poor. Come one we have all seen the sappy movie where the rich person is grumpy because he or she does not have friends. Or they say something like all the money and fame in the world means nothing without the one you love. It is true. Think about when you have a bad day at work then you see your spouse and they give you a hug, pat on the but, handshake, or whatever you two do. Suddenly things are not as bad right?
So how did you answer the money question did you think about what you did not have or is money not a big issue for you? Now think about how you let money affect your marriage. Don’t be ashamed I have been there too, Money was tight and so was I (all pun intended). I had a nasty attitude, and honestly looking back I am not sure how my husband put up with me. I did not mean to have an attitude I was stressed.
If I am being honest I was pissed. Pissed because there was a struggle and we both worked full time jobs. Which if you are reading is not my husband’s fault but like most people we hurt the ones closest to us when we are hurt. This, however, is a rant for a different post. Anyway I was allowing our finances to affect our romances and this is a HUGE mistake. Remember the vow says richer or poorer.
Think about when you argue with your husband about the sock he left on the bathroom floor. Are you really mad about the sock or are you mad about the pending light bill because you do not see the money in the checking account. Money can put so much stress on a marriage. It can be hard to keep the romance alive.
Speaking of romance remember when it was fresh and new? Remember when you got butterflies in your stomach, obsessed over what you would wear? The romance was alive and well during this time. Neither of you thought about the money you spent on your courtship. When money is flowing and bills are paid it is so easy to say I love you. It is even easier to take some of that money and go somewhere nice. Or what about when the money is flowing and we say money's not everything. Which is true but please be honest with yourself money is a tool. A mandatory tool we use daily to meet our needs.
If we are not careful we can allow the lack of money and other things to overshadow what we actually do have. We get so caught up on what is missing we never see what is there. Then we let this same mentality creep into our marriage. We start looking at the struggle as if it is our spouses fault. We will assume for the sake of this post it is not their fault and situations just aligned and created the perfect financial storm. This is not the time to throw stones, call names, and pull apart. It is actually the time to pull closer. It may seem hard but it is in this moment you need to start dating again.
I know what you are thinking. We just talked about financial hardship and you want me to date. Well the answer is yes. Just because you may be on financial hard times does not mean your romance should be on hard times. Despite whatever your bank account says it is imperative to keep the romance alive. Ensuring your romantic life is doing well can often help you take your mind of the finances. What I am not saying is blow all your money on one dinner. I am saying consider some budget friendly options like the following:
Indoor Picnic- this is my favorite!!! So you already have groceries in your house whip up something good and lay it all out for him on the floor with a blanket. Now if you have children wait until they go to sleep. If you have some extra money splurge on a cheap bottle of wine. Once you pour it in the glass it all taste the same, and he will appreciate the thought.
I am not a complete fan of the term but Netflix and Chill.- Too make it fun, watch something you have never seen before, and even if you have on comfy pajamas, do NOT I repeat do NOT have you hair tied up. This is a date remember no sleep scarves allowed. Also try to sit up. If you two lay down you may end up asleep. Now if you lay down and other things happen then I say it’s a winning situation.
Walk in the park. You and your honey can go out enjoy the weather, and really reconnect. You two can talk and laugh like you used to before life happened and things got so serious.
Ice cream dates are super cheap as well. You two can share a cup and instead of saying it is because of money use this time to sit close and feed one another and simply reconnect.
Free concert in the park. - Depending on where you live there may be some free events in the part you two can go on. Look in your local paper or online because who is still reading the paper, and find out what your city has to offer in the entertainment department.